March 2012
4 posts
7 tags
Emily: So Melissa, so as a lesbian, do you have an obsession with boobs - like a problem with viewing cupcakes?
Melissa: ... no?
Chelsea: Shit straight girls think.
Jasminne: Is that a thing?
Melissa: I guess I have an issue.
Jasminne: You guys think we get turned on by cupcakes?
Emily: I understand, I mean. Us straight girls like hot dogs and popsicles.
Melissa: See, I like those too. That's why I'm pansexual.
Chelsea: Tumbling this.
4 tags
Marta: Are you having problems with the internet?
Me: Am I never having problems with the internet? EC Wireless is such a tease.
Marta: Yeah, she's never there for me.
Me: I don't see what you see in her. She's a bitch.
Marta: I was hoping for so much more. But you're right.
Me: You're better off on your own and single. Go take a walk, in the woods.
Marta: What?
Me: Besides, the plus side of that is your fuck buddy 3G is always available. He's like, "Oh baby, you want help to get on tumblr?" Cue sordid look.
Me: I came out this morning and was like "I look good today."
Jasminne: I was about to say, aren't you already out?
Me: Throw me a pretzel so I can fling it at you.
“I just kissed a pretzel.”
– Melissa
February 2012
2 posts
“Praise the Lawd, knit some mittens for the homeless”
– -Marta, 8:59
referring to Chelsea’s highschool extracurricular activities
2 tags
“Most people come to our suite for our tea rack, not our actual racks”
– Chelsea, 10:48 PM
January 2012
2 posts
5 tags
“that moment when you think you’re going to smile so much that your eyes...”
3 tags
“I pinky promised! That’s serious shit right there!”
– Chelsea, 12:17 AM
December 2011
5 posts
“Chelsea: It’s been a rough morning.
Marta: Mmhm.
Chelsea: I read...”
“One of these days, I’m gonna snap.
One of these days.
One of these days,...”
– ^^^ The Song Chelsea just sung to herself
3 tags
““I was a mailperson”
“You mean a mail lady?”
...”
November 2011
1 post
October 2011
8 posts
Marta: Stop whining.
Chelsea: (still crying) YOU'RE SO MEAN.
Marta: I'm not that mean. You need to stop crying.
Chelsea: (still crying) SO MEAN.
Marta: [If this is any consolation,] I'm making fun of you.
Chelsea: WAAAAHHHH.
“I’m crying. And my tears are going into my eyebrows because I’m...”
– Chelsea (when Marta made her cry).
4 tags
“No. I’m writing a letter to a man with a mustache. Hold on.”...”
12 tags
7 tags
5 tags
“And so, I hung up my jacket of musicality and hid it in the closet, in which I...”
3 tags
“The gay man was like,
‘I’m really cuddly.’
And the lesbian...”
September 2011
11 posts
4 tags
“I’m not going to go trans for the sake of humanity….”...”
8 tags
This is how I feel about my alarm clock.
“Chelsea: For the record, my hiccups are cuter than Marta’s.
”
PS GAWD H8S U.
Dear Westboro Baptist Church,
You guys are so awesome.
You’re doing a fantastic job at making yourselves look loving and happy in God’s image.
Keep up the good work.
Much love, The Catholic “Fag” that Supports the Military.
3 tags
Chelsea: I have a fetish for foreign exchange students.....
4 tags
(Chelsea was applying for Jewish Vocational...
Chelsea: Is it appropriate to star the jobs I'd like to have?
Marta: Only if you use stars of David....
